An Apology from Me to You

Hello there!

Now let me start by apologizing for my many moon’s of silence.
It was very unfair of me to just disappear without a trace.
I had started this series as a coping tool for the depression I was experiencing in late 2019 and early 2020.

I watched my hero fall slowly from grace.

I was going through a lot during those years as I watched my hero- who took the form of my Gran, fall slowly from grace.
I’ve never been the same ever since. So, I divided into writing the series with the hopes that it would provide me a world to escape to, one that would help me forget the troubles of our Earth, it helped.
I never imagined I’d invest so much of myself into the story.
I thought I’d write a few episodes and then be done with everything, boy was I wrong!

With every episode I wrote, I discovered that not only was creating this story my coping tool, but it was also a way to inspire different ideas in people.
I never realized how much of an impact it was having on you guys as my readers and I didn’t think Noob would gain as many readers as he did. I started getting feedback on how you all were receiving the series, it was a little intimidating at first.
When I met some of you and learned of how much you loved the series, it took my breath away and gave me the much needed passion and drive to keep writing.
Then, as of last year, things started to get stagnant, that’s when my life began going off track.
I lost my job and source of income and slowly found myself taking those dreaded walks down Depression Lane.
I started to doubt myself and my writing skills, it got to a point where I would go days without writing a thing. The thought that I might no longer have it in me to gift my readers the quality reading material they deserve shattered me most.
Depression lane grew darker with every day that passed.
Slowly, I would find myself getting up with less power than I had before.
It got so bad that I formed a kind of hatred towards writing and that courageous Martian I left on Venus, he started becoming a distant memory, like the tail of a comet as it dissipates into the atmosphere.

..like the tail of a comet as it dissipates into the atmosphere.

When this year began, I forced myself- or maybe it was owed to a brief whiff of inspiration, to I write a few episodes but when I was ready to send them over to my editor and publisher, my phone crashed (I write on my phone).

I dug myself deep into the darkest hole I could find on Depression Lane.
I stayed snug. Furled in the darkness.
I didn’t want to get out in fears that I’d have to answer to you all, my readers.
I put Noob behind me for what felt like light-years while trying to piece back the little parts of my life that had gotten out of my hands and control.

I didn’t even feel inspired by anything at this stage, but you guys were always on my mind, I just felt I had let you down and that none of you would want to read anything written by me.

I put Noob behind me for what felt like light-years while trying to piece back the little parts of my life that had gotten out of my hands and control.

Where am I right now?
Well, every day is a work in progress. Every day I’m learning to forgive myself for not being all the way there and rebuilding my confidence one day at a time.

I’ve been gifted the spark to write again, with the ease of not placing pressure on myself.

I’ve been gifted the spark to write again, with the ease of not placing pressure on myself.
It took me sometime to write this.
I still had to fight the demons that were lurking in the ditch I had fallen into.
I hope you can forgive me and continue to walk this journey with me.
I promise to give you guys what you have come to expect from the series. It may be slow at first, but with time there’ll be more episodes.
You’ll see familiar characters and a few new ones in action packed episodes.

Every day I’m learning to forgive myself for not being all the way there and rebuilding my confidence one day at a time.

Thank you for letting me pour out my heart in explaining everything that has happened up till now.
I really appreciate all the support you guys have given me. As I tear up, I hope you guys will look forward to what the future has in store for us.

Kind sincere regards
Luthando ‘Splash’ Mqadi